FrOM ThE BoTtOm Of MY HeArT

My precious moments..Hope u will be the ONE....

2005-04-05T03:03:00.000+08:00

All these precious moments
with you by my side
must be a gift from heaven
that's holding me all night

i don't know how i found you
i'm thankful that i have
now that i have a love so true
to hold, to keep, to share

In my heart i can no longer hold inside
all of the love i used to hide
i'll always be with you until the very end
in this world there is no place i'd rather be
you are my life, my soul, my girl
and through it all i know
that you've come to see that you're the one till the end

All my friend around me
say you'd be gone too soon
baby i'm gonna make them see
we've found our way back home

We'll always be till the end.

My hearts belongs to who?pls tell me...which road i should follow?

2005-04-05T03:00:00.000+08:00

walked for so far but i only notice now that u are not by my side
what i have faced alone i myself don't even understand

the blueprints of my future should have included you it shouldn't only have sighs
it's only that sometimes my tears have fail to stop

the reason to be strong is only lying to myself
the fear in your eyes

saying anything just doesn't matter anymore
is it worth everything that i have given up

there will be no answer forever
only god knows how much i love you

one heart only belongs to one person
in love what is fairness

the deeper you love, the more hurt you get
is that what destroyed myself

my heart belongs to myself
in love there's no fairness

and when you finally choose to runaway from everything
i finally learned what is unfair

Its Nice 2 BE Important but its more Important 2 Be NICE

2005-04-01T16:51:00.000+08:00

hi all...long time didnt blog already..dunno wat to write as my life for now is just sleep and sleep everyday..haha..almost 2 weeks since my final exam..still looking for jobs..did send in over 10 application...get 2 interviews..and no news so far..hmm..guess its really hard to find a job..although i hope can slowly find a job that i like most..my fren advise me to take time in finding jobs and find those that really interested..

the problem is..me short of $$$$ rite now..hahaa..need to find some $$$ to support myself...looking for some part time jobs to do also now...need money to go hong kong...
yes..book a tour to hongkong already...promise myself that i will go enjoy myself after grad..after so long of hard work and studies and stress of course..haha..i need to enjoy myself..

hong kong...dunno still able to go or not(no yet find enough $$$$ ar!!!)...really need to find $$$$ now...any part time jobs also need to do already..so..u guys..if u have any part time jobs to do..dun forget to give me a call k.. :)

went for the career and training fair just now..wohh..the largest in malaysia...but all craps..heheh..none of it related to me..not much company around also...sigh..wondering is this really the largest career fair..really sucks..

okla...thats all about my life these 2 weeks...nothing much to write..heehhh...tata.

Am i a loser?

2005-03-26T21:40:00.000+08:00

How nerd i am?

2005-03-26T21:34:00.001+08:00

A new Beginning..

2005-03-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

2 days past...frens all go back their hometown already...feeling still ok and i still manage to live my life without frens around...and i know this will getting better and better..yes..i can make it!!today suddenly miss the fren that just wan us to be anonymous..without him around..not able to share my thought with him anymore...but i know this wont stay long if he wan us to be anonymous..as i know that..once im not online..once i seldom online...we wont able to talk as much as we talk now..and we didnt much keep in touch by phone..he will just treat me as net friends..the feeling will fade away sooner or later...better to stop it now while im still have some good memories that i can treasure about..having a same birthdate fren is really hard to find..and someone that could chat with us so much..thats why i treasure this friendship that much..

hmmm...lets forget about all those and planning for a better future for myself..tomorrow will have an interview...so fast..got a shock when the guy call me last nite and asking me for interview..as i just send up my resume online..so..just go for interview and see how it goes...first formal interview for me..hope everything will goes well..

ok...thats wat i can think about rite now..the feeling that i have now.. :)

Farewell..

2005-03-19T01:06:00.000+08:00

keep myself busy today...fren call early morning ask me help fetch him to repair his bike...after that...feel bored..alone go to low yat and sungei wang for a walk and repair hard disk..saw one of my fren there...haha..he said im getting fatter and fatter...heheh..
everytime exam..i sure will become fat...cos eat and stay up very late..easy to get hungry...and my face..gosh...haih..need to do facial already...and keep fit..my promise to myself..

come back from sungei wang..sien again...go mid valley and watch 7.05 movie..hide and seek..but feel disspointed..not a nice movie..haha..
come back..meet coursemate and go to coffee bean for farewell..sigh..last time hanging out together and no more after that..gonna be very hard to meet alreayd..all go back to their hometown..only left me here..feel a bit hard to let go also..3 yrs coursemate..and studying and have fun together..suddenly everything gonna end..

after all this..will be very lonely...even my coursemate and uni frens also part already..lonely..and lonely..hmm..will keep myself busy..wont think about that too much..have to learn to live alone..as i said..this is my destiny..and no more hope for freinds anymore..since then..i need to be clear to myself..loneliness is nothing to fear of..life still goes on...and i will survive. :)

Finally...i Believe

2005-03-18T03:12:00.000+08:00

finish my exam today..really final exam..no more studies life...a new beginning of a new life..get back home..suppose to be happy..but dun feel anything..can think of few frens that i wan to share my happiness with..but all just cant be there for me..suddenly feel so lonely...wanna have some friends like me to share with but couldnt found any..

friends...wat is the defination of friends to you..why is it so hard to find a frens that can be close to you...why..am i asking too much?am i hoping for too much...
maybe...maybe i should let go everything..i am alone anyway..maybe if i didnt think of friends in my life..i would live happier...sometimes really hope to give up..give up everything...and jsut live by my ownself...without thinking of anything...yes..i should do that maybe...finally...make up my mind..no more hope for friends..

today...someone i chat with for few months...someone i relaly having good time chatting with him..and hoping i could meet him for a tea sometimes..wanted to be anynomous..he wan us just to be cyber freinds..why..when i feel that i found a right friends..things just woudnt work..it just will be taken away from me..is it my destiny...

sigh...i really feel very tired..tired...and tired....i wan to rest...so long my fren..so long.....

Hoping, Waiting & Believing

2005-03-03T16:57:00.000+08:00

you don't need to look for love, you only need to wait, for soulmates always find us. like a left foot needs a right foot, we all need a soulmate. like having two feet on the ground, it helps to be prepared before they arrive. even if your goods are a little damaged..don't worry because
a true soulmate will always love you just the way you are...

Is it true that dont need to look for it? will it come for itself?
do we just need to wait??hope he will come to me soon...

ONE LIFE, LIVE IT!!

2005-02-28T03:24:00.000+08:00

life is...

treasure every moment, do what you wish to do .....

broaden your view, broaden your mind,

don't worry on something bothering you,

do treasure your life, live safely and peacefully,

always be happy to welcome the coming of the new day .....

look at the sun shines..and the good day ahead ...

may all of us will able to live in happiness...

with someone to walk with and someone to share with...

tears....

2005-02-26T13:34:00.000+08:00

Tears drop suddenly yesterday after listening to some songs...dunno why, long time didnt feel like that already..the last time my tears drop is about 10 months ago, that time being scold by my mum although im just asking her to bank in some money to me..she str8 scold me in the phone..i scold back and hang up the phone....then listen to dan ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi sui, and cry le...haih..that is the last time...i promise to myself wont cry again and will depend on myself...

Just come back from seri kembangan, do hard cover for my thesis...there cheaper and manage to save rm 20 although need to travel.but it ok..as my fren also wan to do..so..we go together..

thesis finish, now continue with my assignment...have to finish it these 2 days..as i will start to do revision for my final on monday...not much time liao..just left 1 week..hope i still can manage...hope u guys would support me ok...

muacks....

Something to share about...

2005-02-24T05:29:00.000+08:00

If

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is equal to
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% only

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% only

L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54% only

L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47%
(don't most of us think
this is most important???

Then what makes 100% Is it Money? ..... No!!!!!
Leadership? ...... NO!!!!
Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps
change our
attitude.

To go to the top, to that 100%
what we really need to go further..... a bit more.
......

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes
OUR Life 100%....

Finally.....

2005-02-24T05:21:00.000+08:00

Phew!! finally finish everything of my thesis liao..final final draft already....going to bind already..feel glad and relief..just need an approval from lecturer...hope there nothing more that need to correct...i really feel so tired..its already 5.30 am...these 2 weeks everyday sleep around this time...really need a good rest...but not until i finish my other assignment..its about Physiology of reproductive system....our reproductive organ and bla blahblah..sigh..okla.thats all for now..

work hard for a better future K|Tz..U can make it.

Wednesday..

2005-02-23T00:53:00.000+08:00

today is wednesday...means still left 2 days to go...being busy for almost 2 weeks non stop..and not even have time to really talk and enjoying with frends...all also busy with their work..seems 3 yrs of study gonna be end soon...and dont have any close and true fren to keep in touch with...although will miss them..but i know that our frenship wont last long...after all...will forget each other...maybe can say that we are not close enough..and just discussing more about studies..

going to get back my thesis from lec later in the morning...hope not much correction...and hope he wont reject my final draft..i put alot effort on it..

yesterday...presentation..not bad..lecturer gave some good comment on me...u guys know wats the topic i need to present? its about menopause..haha..finally feel relief..at least there still something to happy about after all the hard work..

today...another assigment need to pass up...talking about science and religion.."science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind"..thats what i write about...

wah...dunno that final sem need to do such things...yesterday feel so sick and blur..so tired..can hardly think..my migraine keeep coming..and its really killing me...feel so weak...whenever i feel weak..i feel so lonely..miss alot of my friends....we use to go out yum cha together until late or nite...and that time really feel happy and glad to have them as friends.. but all kinda stop already now...maybe this is the cycle of it..however, hope that we still will keep in touch..

au revoir~~

In this Loneliness theres nothing to FEAR....

2005-02-18T15:42:00.000+08:00

lonely...why should happen..why everyone need to experience it...
everyday alone in the room..really feel lonely sometimes..how hope could have some close friends that can hang out and talk to..maybe i just scared to be alone..from small till now..freinds play an important role in my heart..i can do anything for my fren...even treat them better than myself...thats why get hurt easily..

today just another lonely day for me...try to get rid of all this..try not to think too much..sometimes really envy when saw some of the friends so close with each other..wondering why i cant found someone that willing to share all those with me..
maybe this is life..we wont get something that we wan easily..everything need time and sacrifice..just hope and believe that one day it will happen to me..

jun jie's songs endless road saying that there nothing to fear in loneliness..maybe i should try to get thru all this..one day..i will be the one who conquer loneliness and wont let loneliness take charge of me...

gambathe K|Tz..u can make it..

Endless Road

2005-02-18T15:33:00.000+08:00

the truth is tearing up my heart
i can't recognize this place
the endless road without a stop sign
can't even find a stranger this time

why am i still holding back my tears
in this loneliness there's nothing to fear
every chord still seems a wonder
how we could be together
every time i ask if this would be the last

why am i still talking to myself
hoping you will have the keys to my cell
every song might calm the weather
but it just draws me deeper
how do i get out of this
i think.... i never will...

a crystal forming in the eye
maybe this would be the last
the winding pathdown my face
till i begin to taste the bitterness inside

why am i still holding back my tears
in this loneliness there's nothing to fear
every chord still seems a wonder
how we could be together
every time i ask if this would be the last

why am i still talking to myself
hoping you will have the keys to my cell
every song might calm the weather
but it just draws me deeper
how do i get out of this
i think....
i never will...
i never will...

Sometimes i really hope that my dad will understand me..

2005-02-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

listen to this song now..hope all the hard times with my dad will over...dad,how i hope i can be the best for you..but sometimes i just couldnt..and im not wat u think of...i have weak side of myself..i need your cares and love too..

Hey Dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according
To plan?
And do you think I’m wasting
My time doing things I
Wanna do?
But it hurts when you
Disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t pretend that
I’m alright
And you can’t change me

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t
Care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’ alright

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

Nothing’s gonna change
The things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this
Right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard
Just to talk to you
But you don’t understand

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
No it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

1 more week of class...

2005-02-16T23:24:00.000+08:00

sigh...another day had pass..means just left few days for me to pass up my thesis and assignment..very tired...didnt sleep much these few days.promise to my lecturer that i will pass up my thesis on monday..but seems a lot still not yet complete...suddenly feel no mood to do anymore, sometimes just dunno how to start it..im blank..hope god could give me some ideas..

studies life...1 more week to go...and then final exam..no more..thats all..
i gonna end my studies life very soon..think about it...gonna miss it..
miss my friends..gonna be apart after this...all have their own ways to go..to pursue.
just hope that we could really stay in touch..

migraine keep coming..really painful sometimes, maybe because i didnt eat anything just now..anyhow, life still goes on..and i will fight for for the best till the end..
hope all of u could support me too..

adios~~

HaPPy VaLenTineS!!

2005-02-14T00:57:00.000+08:00

happy chinese new year and happy valentines day to everyone...
just another day to went thru..maybe for some..today is just another wonderful and memorable day for them..hope they found love deep in their heart...

one of my friend decided to commit suicide just now...broke with his loves one make him feel hopeless and suffering...
do love really that powerful??until one decided to end his life..it just depend on how u think love is..wat is love for u..

hope everyone of us would really found someone that they care and love for one day.
may happiness and love be with u today,now and forever...

happy valentines day!!!

ViRGo--get to know more about me?

2005-02-04T01:30:00.000+08:00

Time is precious for Virgo man and if you make him wait, he will consider that as an insult.
He hates to hear criticism and hates to be criticize.
If he is criticizing other people, then he must be influenced by other Zodiac.
He is and he likes to be a perfectionist.
He always think he is doing the right and appropriate thing , and often he thinks he makes no mistake.
He is a bright guy and could accept comments if he thinks it can improve himself.
He is the type who well adjusted to make changes.
He will spent money carefully and spent it worthwhile.
He will only extravagant for his personnel pleasure only.
He is quite romantic, a type of guy who can drive 100 miles just to tell you how much he misses you.
If he does not care about you, he will not even spent a dime to call you locally.
Long distant special low rate call is also out of the question.
He hates rough and crude people. His woman has to be clean and dress well.
He is well knowledge about food and conscious about nutrition, so you won't see this guy eating a junk food, or strange and exotic food for sure.
You will see him in social events or party if only necessary.
He is gifted with acting, so if he says he can not go out with you because he is sick, then you will belief him.
He is a hard to please when it comes to what to eat, how to work, what kind of a woman to date.
He always neat and tidy all the times, even if he is in the army, he will be the cleanest soldier in the camp.
He likes to speak properly with no slang.
He hates laziness and lazy >people.
He always act like a boring mature adults, but getting to know him , you will know he has his own charm.
He always see things clearly, so he is not the type to be blinded by love.
He is a kind and cool guy, but if constantly irritate with rudeness, ignorant, or stupidity then he will show you that he is annoyed.
You may see a guy in this Zodiac dress up in an old shirt and old Jean, but if you look carefully, you will see that his hair is neat and unconsciously he will touch his hair a lot.
Any favor asked , he will help
The more he see faults in others, the less he wants people to see his.
If you want him to change his faults, try to tell him gently or he could take it as an insult.
He wants love that comes with quality, so he only has a few loves in his life.

Forgive Urself..Forget ur mistake and move on...

2005-02-03T01:15:00.000+08:00

Everyone do make mistake..sometimes we feel bad of ourself...
feel guilty, scared, worried and feel sad after making a mistake..the feeling become worst when the mistake are the serious one..
so do i..i do make alot of mistake, and hardly forgive myself for wat i had done..
especially when involving someone feelings..

but i had learn 1 thing..for every mistake u make..try to look back and learn from it..
try to improve urself and learn to be a better person from wat u have done..forgive ourself, dont carried away by the mistake...try to move on and that the way to become a successful person...

learn from the mistake and keep moving on...
dont look back for wat u did.
but look for a better future of urself

Everything will be alright..

2005-02-02T01:04:00.000+08:00

finally got a chance to talk to my dear friend today..knew him for few months..thank to him for always being there to wake me up...trying to help me to change..and i am..i am changing now,hope he can see a positive side of me one day...and be happy for me..

hmmm..now only i realise how i do bother him, being so childish and like a lil boy asking for help but somehow dont even wan to help himself..dont like himself and tend to irritate other ppl and put himself through alot of stress,stranded in self-pity and think that bad things always happen to him..sigh.this is wat i used to be..but Everything is over now...
A new K|Tz is coming to town..heheh!!

for those frens that always encourage me...and listen to my craps everytime i feel sad and hopeless..thanks alot...hope u will see a new and happier K|Tz soon...

"Every 'disaster' in your life is not so much a disaster as a situation waiting for you to change your mind about it"

It's all about plan...

2005-01-31T01:46:00.000+08:00

If u wan to get fit, u need a plan -- u have to run and work out everyday..
If u wan good grades, u need a plan -- u need to so some study everyday..
If u wan money, u need a plan -- u need to save a little everyday..

You dont save money by accident..you need a goal and strategy..
too accumulate money for the things you wan in life...
REMEMBER: SAVE FIRST, and SPEND WHAT"S LEFT...
poor ppl do the opposite..poor ppl spend first and save wat's left..which is ususally nothing...thats wat i am doing for pass few years...
from now on...i will work hard..and save for the things i wan...dont spend unnecessarily..

SAVE!SAVE!SAVE!..

what others think?

2005-01-30T02:16:00.000+08:00

you dont have to spend ur life explaining yourself or justifying why u do something..if u like to do something and it is not hurting anyone else, thats perfectly okay!!

wat u guys think about forgiveness?we tend to think that forgiveness is to forgive someone that make us angry or sad.....and its not easy when come to forgiveness...
just remember...you dont forgive people for their benefit..you do it for ur benefits..
when u forgive someone...u make their life happier...but wat u get far more than wat he gets..u are contributing to his happiness.and u should be glad and be happy of that...

journey thru life

2005-01-29T01:56:00.000+08:00

It's a long, long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long, long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter, I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long, long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

'Cause it's a long, long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you, to you

welcome to my blog

2005-01-29T01:37:00.000+08:00

hope u enjoy urself here..